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Society is, I believe, rapidly losing its marbles....

Today, we have the example of a hospital neurosurgeon suspended, while an inquiry determines whether he in fact paid for an extra spoonful of croutons that he added to his thin hospital canteen soup. So if you were waiting for a new brain or a service on the existing model, then tough, you’ll have to wait for management to reach a decision over his future.



Then we have the back-stroke banned from Britain’s public swimming pools for fear of litigation or mass casualties. Strangely enough, I agree with the Home Secretary on this measure as back-strokers represent a public nuisance and should be jailed together with personal injury lawyers.

Finally, I’m not convinced that Gordon Brown’s secret plan to tax Catholics after the next election will be a success. This may have worked for another prudent Scot, James 1st but times have changed, although one wouldn’t think so from looking at the Treasury’s plans for the UK economy.

I do however believe that the Chancellor’s idea of re-introducing the Witchcraft act into tax legislation could be a real winner. If the Inland Revenue wish to investigate one’s tax return, then replacing the present drawn-out process with a simpler one, throwing the suspect into a pond and seeing if he floats, is, after all, evidentially more conclusive than any accountant’s argument might be.

If the person floats then he is very obviously guilty of tax avoidance but if he sinks, then it’s a matter of tax evasion and God can decide on the punishment. Great idea Gordon, the voters will love it.

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